is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
