Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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