are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
