My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
