I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
