He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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