Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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