It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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