turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Randomize
