this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
