My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
