Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Farmville is her only friend.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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