Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
