Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
