Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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