I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
