man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
