You made me cry and you don't even care
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
