Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
