we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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