Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
