It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Randomize
