Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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