That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
