you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
