I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Slut skills are useful in every country.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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