My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
