I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
