some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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