Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
