i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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