thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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