Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
