you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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