I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm always down for nudity.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
