..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
