Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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