I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just googled if crying burns calories
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I have aggressive nipples.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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