FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
