hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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