Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
