thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
