Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
