playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
