my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
