I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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