sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
