is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
