why do cheetos always look like penises
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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