I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
